recarx’s

 

Oh February, that time of the year where everything is red. It's that season where passion's color is used for love, yet it's okay because passion is not love and you know it, right? No? Doesn't matter.

It's that time of the year again where single people feel anti-social, anti-social people feel socio-phobic and socio-phobics laugh at how ridiculous “normal” people are. Love is in the air, and not the Adobe platform.

You, valentine's day, you. You shouldn't have been created in the first place.

No, seriously. Do you have any clue on how many people curse the person whoever decided that Valentine's Day was a good idea? I can't help but to agree with them, Valentine's day is just a plain cheap excuse for retailers to sell. From Aeropaq, to Zales. EVERYBODY WANTS TO SELL.

February syndrome, you piss me off.

 

ADS, ADS, ADS:

From your TV, to your e-mail inbox, advertisements show up in different shapes, forms and sizes. From Aeropaq e-mails telling me “She doesn't want chocolates anymore, bring her wishes with us,” to wanting to watch CSI: Miami on CBS only to find a the traditional (and annoying) Hallmark Ad.

Frustration: For Couples and Single People:

From mid-January, people start asking stuff to themselves. Ever been in a mall and seen people acting weird? They're not weird. It's the Valentine's Day frustration symptom.

Valentine's Day frustration is one of the symptoms of this annual disease, it consumes twice the amount of neurones of a calculus test. It's also twice as stressing as preparing for a calculus test.

The frustration is not only for the female entity of the couple, but also for the male. Specially the cheating male who has to buy a gift for the mistress as well. And, it won't matter how good you are at picking gifts, you'll still suffer through that day.

 

Couples

On the gal's side: She's out there in the mall, lost, wondering what in the world to buy. She already gave him a nice shirt last year, shoes and a tie for his birthday, a gold cross pen set last week, and that watch he wants costs no less that 2,500 dollars. Oh! Happens that she's allergic to perfumes too. So, even if he wants that 212 by Carolina Herrera, she's not going to be able to stand him when he wears it. Running off the mall screaming seems like a good option, but she knows that when she gets home she is going to find NOTHING good Online.

On his side: Kid's been thinking about Valentine's day since December, he has ideas. He knows that she likes geeky stuff, but as he searches the mall and the Internet for her gift, he sees these awesome Jimmy Choo heels that he'd love to see on her perfect feet. There's only ONE problem: She HATES heels with a passion.

By the way, he's a fashionist, she's the opposite. How did they end up together? I have no clue.

So he walks a few more stores, he sees this awesome top, but she's not going to appreciate that, sees a Gucci black leather bag, but he remembers that he's not dating her sister, so she's not going to appreciate the bag either. Solution? A wiimote. But she's 22! that's not a gift for Valentine's Day, is it?

He finally decides to buy her this super awesome Burberry necklace, cause he likes to show off (you know, being a guy and shit) and because she likes jewelry too. He can get the geeky books, wii games and others later.... Evening of the 14^th arrives, she hates the darn necklace!

For Single people:
Single people strive through February, it's probably the longest month of their lives. I admire them, seriously.

They have to deal with life, work, family, you name it, specially single ladies.

Single ladies have to find comfort in Beyonce's “Single Ladies” song. A single lady has to deal with A-Holes trying to get in her pants, she has to think about this other A-Hole who broke her heart and wonder why she never gave a chance to that nice guy who's been there since he was 10 y/o. Single ladies have to go through a lot, and Feb. 14^th just makes them feel miserable. Maybe the reason why the very sober gal arrived drunk next day to work?

Cats and single guys:

Guys aren't always A-Holes who take advantage of you and then dump you. Some of them are actually nice and responsible people whose testosterone production level is so low that they haven't developed the balls guts to manage to invite a girl out. That's not a bad thing at all. Well, not for female-owned cats.

Yea, it sucks, kid. She can only give so much love to that furry mammal. Her arms, her sweet and loving arms, those arms that should be around you and not that cute, little, snuggly, allergy-causing, playful and.. Oh! were was I? Right, her arms should be around you, not the cat. But it's not your fault that you feel like this, well, maybe it is. However, it's easier to blame it on Valentine's day! So blame it on it!

Plus, when guys get a NO, cats get a yes. After all, alone mommy, spoiled kitty. EPIC WIN, you bastaahdz!!

Waste of neurones, time and money:
February 14^th is just another plain cheap excuse to fuck with people's heads. It's probably the reason why it's not an official thing and a normal work day.

So before I head to PUCMM, I have to say the following:

1. Waste of neurones: It makes you think too much for no real reward.

2. Waste of money: People tend to buy stuff that they're NEVER going to use just for this day, which, at the end of the day is just a PLAIN WASTE OF MONEY that retailers enjoy.

3. Waste of emotions: People tend to feel bad if they have no valentine, and even if they're cool about having no valentine, it doesn't explain why is this chick dancing on the table yelling “fuck guys! Screw em good!”... which, afterwards, will end up on youtube.

4. Waste of time: Seriously? Have you never shopped for valentine's day?

So, wanna have a happy Valentine's day? Don't celebrate one!

 

Later,
C.